Marriage Issues – Why therapy helps?

It’s quite normal to see couples coming to therapy when one partner feels lack of autonomy, connection, and respect in a marriage. There are a multitude of examples why partners suffer in relationships. Whatever is your case – read below and consider consulting with a specialist.

These three approaches can help restore balance and strengthen the relationship:

1. Establish Structured Communication Practices

Number one issue: COMMUNICATION – Couples come to therapy because they cannot talk to one another. They are walking on eggshells, instead of learning how to soft-approach each other with their thoughts/issues.

Learning communication skills and creating dedicated spaces for honest communication allows both partners to express needs and concerns constructively:

• Schedule regular “relationship check-ins” free from distractions – Try to talk outside the house – go for a walk, to a restaurant – it will help each partner to check their emotions.
• Practice active listening techniques where each partner takes turns speaking without interruption – Each partner take turn to talk (4 sentences at time) and practice active listening, before reacting to what has been said.
• When having a difficult conversation, avoid using the word “YOU”. Start with “I” statements to express feelings without blame (“I feel overlooked when…” rather than “You always ignore me”), then state the issue/fact, before trying to reach a compromise.
• Consider couple’s therapy to facilitate difficult conversations with professional guidance. Dr. Rosana Marzullo-Dove is an expert clinical psychologist, specialized in couples.

2. Redefine Boundaries and Expectations

Number 2 issue in couple’s therapy is a partner who feels has no voice, or is tired of NOT having their needs met. Clearly articulating wishes and personal boundaries while finding mutually agreeable compromises helps address those concerns.

• Openly discuss which areas each partner needs more independence and areas that need more attention.
• Create written agreements about personal time, shared responsibilities, and decision-making processes.
• Regularly revisit and adjust these agreements as circumstances change. Life happens. That partner who was the “rock” might go through some rough times and might need more support at that time.
• Recognize that healthy relationships balance togetherness with individual identity. It is important to develop autonomy and respect partners’ individuality, so the relationship is balanced and healthy.

3. Rebuild Trust Through Consistent Action

The third common issue most sought for treatment in couples’ therapy is when one (or both partners) breaks the trust they had built. Trust is rebuilt through small, consistent behaviors that demonstrate respect and care. For example:

• Sometimes it is necessary to acknowledge past patterns that contributed to the current issues. That does not mean that a partner can break the trust themselves without any part from their counterparts.
• Make and keep small promises before tackling larger relationship challenges. Trus will be reagained in homeopathic doses.
• Practice expressing appreciation daily for specific actions or qualities.
• Be ready to explore sexual development and issues in your relationship.
• Develop rituals of connection that honor both partners’ needs for closeness while respecting individual boundaries.
• Be aware of traumatic symptoms connected to broken trust. Consult with a psychologist specialized in couples’ trauma.

The most successful approach typically combines elements from all three strategies, recognizing that relationship healing takes time and commitment from both partners.

A psychological treatment for couples is often not long (6 to 18 months or so). It is a large investment of time and money, but well worth it, and much less expensive than divorce.

At Tampa Therapy and Wellness, Dr. Rosana Marzullo-Dove treats couples of ALL ages, backgrounds, and issues.